Follow-Up

After I wrote the entry yesterday, "Lamentations," I felt ill. It started with a mental malaise - moodiness, pissiness. I talked on the phone to a couple of people and found them to be completely idiotic and unhelpful. Then my son came home and I was pissy with him.

WAIT. Hold the phone.

I realized that he was blameless and therefore, this must be Something Going On With Me. I decided that indeed retreat was necessary. So I took a bath, put on PJs and got into bed. At 5pm. Sad but true. Lucy, my champion, laid down with me, curled up and altogether placid and deliciously sweet.

I got up about an hour later and ate some salmon and crackers. By this time, the malaise had become a physical one. I was achy, twitchy, twingy and altogether suffering from whatever it is that the post-polio presents.

I stayed in bed all evening, getting up just a couple of times, and went to sleep right around 11pm. I woke at 4, went back to sleep to crazy niteflix dreams and then woke at 7am. Nearly eight hours of sleep, and I have no body pain today.

So, it was somewhat useful to realize that moodiness and bitchiness precedes these physical symptoms. Maybe it's a signal of some kind?

I shall continue to monitor it.

Another follow-up, perhaps of something unspoken on this blog, but something in my heart: I am no longer in love with the person who did not love me back, though I miss him - the idea of him, the feel of him and the imagined future that will never be.

One more follow-up: The A-team called me from the gym. Not the B-team who answered the phone yesterday. They have new equipment, a new room for the yoga class, and they can downgrade my membership to save about $22 a month. So at least for another month, I'm in.